Oprah Banished Lindsay Lohan’s Parents

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DUMPED ALREADY

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There’s no way he knows who he’s posing with. Just no way.

Oprah has made some mistakes over the years like propping up Jenny McCarthy‘s anti-vaccine horseshit or, even worse, not stopping thisStevie Wonder pic from happening because, again, goddammit. So this time she’s going to play things right by constantly being on Lindsay Lohan‘s ass and banning her parents from her reality show. TMZ reports:

Lindsay Lohan’s OWN reality show producers want nothing to do with her parents, and TMZ has learned … an executive decision was made to ban them from the show.
Michael and Dina Lohan will NOT film a single scene for the upcoming series. No one will even refer to DiLo’s DWI arrest earlier this month — according to production sources.
We’re told producers were struggling a few weeks back with the show’s direction … and after intense debate decided to not include the “Lohan family circus.”

When asked how Oprah will be able to enforce such a ban, her response was, “With my black people magic.” Which isn’t racist at all because Oprah said it herself. I’m simply reporting these events as they happen in my mind. Think of me as a vessel.