Justin Bieber Sexually Assaulted His Grandmother

 

Holy shit, those priests were right. The children are the real predators!
What you’re looking at are photos TMZ obtained from October 2012 when Justin Bieber decided it’d be hilarious if he walked around his grandmother’s house buckass naked during Canadian Thanksgiving because naturally the whole day should be about him and not whatever the hell Canadian Thanksgiving is about. (Celebrating the day Eskimos taught you hockey? I’m going with Eskimo hockey.) In related news, Jerry Sandusky reportedly opened his eyes for the first time this morning after violently squeezing them shut for an entire week. “Did it work?! Tell me it worked!” he was quoted as saying.