Kris Humphries’ Rebound Made A Sex Tape Called ‘The Anti-Kim’

 

Myla Sinanaj was Kris Humphries‘ rebound after Kim Kardashian ended their fake marriage contract early and she’s already demonstrated such Kim-like skills as sloth and lying out her ass, so why not add a sex tape and complete the whole package? Plus it’s not like it’s hard to sell one these days because they’ll literally buy them from anybody. Anybody. (Those link to Farrah Abraham and Sydney Leathers in case you didn’t get the joke. I might have been too subtle.) TMZ reports:

Myla has gone all single white female and filmed her own version of a Kim K sex tape — called the “Anti-Kim Kardashian XXX” — hoping its release will make her millions and land her a reality show.
TMZ obtained a clip of the tape … it shows how obsessed she is — you see Myla watching the KK / Ray J video in the background as a Kris Humphries look-a-like bangs her to a fare-thee-well.
Myla does say, “Turn that off … I can do better than that.” But still …
The one thing that does set Myla apart from KK — she loses her “backdoor virginity.” It’s a place Kim never went … at least on camera.

Two things:
1. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Farrah Abraham actually set the bar for all future sex tapes, and that bar is butt sex. The bar is made out of butt sex.
2. If you’re going to call your sex tape “The Anti-Kim Kardashian” shouldn’t the final shot be Myla peeing on the dude and then not trying to land a reality show? Because that’s the only scenario I could come up with that would be the exact opposite of Kim besides getting an education and doing something with your life that doesn’t rot the very soul out of this country like some sort of mustachioed gut cancer. (I was never good with antonyms.)